First write your book. There’s a difference between wanting to be a writer and actually being a writer and the difference is putting in the hours. You have to want to write; it’s hard work and it’s lonely work. I haven’t met a writer yet who actually enjoys the process. It’s lonely, it’s often boring, and it’s hard on the fingers if you’re as bad a typist as I am. I’m not saying that writing isn’t fun, it can be or I wouldn’t do it, but the process itself isn’t enjoyable. And it takes months, if not years, to write a book. I always tell aspiring writers that ninety per cent of writing is stamina and self-motivation.

It is possible to submit outlines, but unless you’ve a proven track record or you’re famous for something else (you’re a well-known comedian, for instance, or you’ve killed somebody famous) then an agent or publisher is going to want to see the completed manuscript before offering to buy it. So before you start looking for an agent or a publisher, finish the book. Read it. Polish it. Get it as close to perfect as you can. Give it to friends that you trust and listen to what they say. Maybe join a writing group and run it by the other members. Polish it again until you are absolutely happy with it. Then, and only then, start submitting it. You’ll only get one chance. It’s no good going back to a publisher or agent who rejected your book and saying ‘please have another look, I’ve improved it’ because they won’t.

When you do submit it, make sure it’s double-spaced and typed on only one side of each sheet. Buy a copy of The Writers and Artists Yearbook or The Writer’s Handbook for information on how to submit your work, and who to submit it to. If you’re on a tight budget, most libraries will have copies.

I was first published after submitting my book Pay Off direct to half a dozen publishers. Back then (in the 1980s) most publishers had what they called slush piles, where unsolicited manuscripts were put on a desk and either looked at by a full-time reader or by any member of staff who might be interested. I was plucked from the slush pile at Collins and my good friend Glenn Meade’s first novel came off Hodder and Stoughton’s slush pile. Even ten years ago most publishers were still accepting unsolicited manuscripts in the UK, but I’m sorry to say that’s now changed.

Pretty much all UK publishers will now only accept submissions from agents, or from writers they know. Personally, I think it’s unfair, but the publishers I have spoken to say it’s mainly because most of what was being sent in unsolicited was simply unpublishable. I have to say that new technology has a lot to do with that. When I first started writing fiction, the only option was to do it by hand and then type it out, sheet by sheet. If you made a mistake, you had to retype the sheet. And as publishers wouldn’t accept carbon copies, you had to type out a fresh manuscript for each publisher. I was lucky and had an IBM golfball typewriter but even that only had a five-page memory. I had to type in five pages, print out half a dozen copes, and then delete what I had written and type in the next five pages. It took me weeks of hard work to print out the six copies of Pay Off that I submitted. These days writing is easier, because it’s all done on computers, and you can print out as many copies as you want at the press of a button. As a result publishers have been deluged with manuscripts and they no longer find it cost-effective to read them. They have effectively subcontracted out the initial sifting to agents, hoping that they will separate the gold from the dross. The problem now is that it is very, very difficult to get an agent. That’s partly because once the publishers stopped accepting unsolicited submissions, they started to pour into the agencies, and the agencies have even fewer staff than publishers. But there’s also a question of attitude. In my experience, the men and women who work in publishing love books. They enjoy working with books and with writers. Agents, in my experience, love money. They are motivated in the main by a desire to work as little as possible and to make as much money as possible. Also, in my experience, agents are a lot less approachable than the publishers used to be. They also in many cases lack basic courtesy. I wrote to five agents after I’d written my first thriller and not one even bothered to reply. Even when I had three books in print and was trying to get and agent for The Chinaman, only two agents out of six replied to my letter. If they won’t even reply to a published author and former Fleet Street journalist, what chance does a first-time writer have? I get emails every week from frustrated writers who are simply being ignored by agents. But because publishers won’t accept unsolicited manuscripts any more, I’m afraid you have no choice – you will have to get an agent.

"Writers must suffer for their art"

Getting an agent

Agents are scum-sucking parasites. But of a generalisation, but that’s what most writers I’ve met seem to think. They take ten per cent (often more) of everything you earn, and seem to do little in the way of work to earn it. But in ninety-nine per cent of cases you will have to get an agent before a publisher will read your work.

"Agents are never to be trusted"

There is no point in sending an unsolicited manuscript to an agent, no matter how good you think it is. They almost certainly won’t read it. Send a letter, and maybe the first chapter. And make sure you sell yourself. Convince them that they need to read your work. If you’ve written a thriller, then push your military background if you have one. If you’ve written a book set in a school and you were a teacher, mention that. If you’ve written a crime novel and have spent time in prison, sell that. Push yourself as much as you push your book. The Writers and Artists Year Book and The Writer’s Handbook both have comprehensive lists of agents in the UK, Ireland and the United States. Write to them all. Every one. That’s the beauty of the new technologies, you can print a hundred letters as easily as one. In your letter, promote yourself but flatter the agent. Find out who they represent and tell them what a great job they are doing for such-and-such a writer and that you think they’d be the perfect agent to handle your book. That’s how I got my first agent – I wrote Gerald Seymour’s agent a flattering letter and he took me on. He went on to sell The Chinaman and The Vets for a good six-figure sum.

Please don’t blame me if agents don’t write back. Most won’t even acknowledge receipt of your letter. They are very frustrating people to deal with. Just keep trying. Keep pushing. Work your contacts. Do you know anyone who works for an agency in any capacity? Did you go to school with someone who works for an agency? Start asking all your friends and relatives if they have any contacts. If it’s any comfort, the publishers I’ve spoken to all tell me the same thing – that if a book is good then it will be published eventually. If you are rejected by every agent in town then there are two possibilities – either your book isn’t very good, or the agents are just incompetent. Either is a real possibility. But it might be worth having a closer look at your work, and try to be objective. Maybe the brutal truth is that your book isn’t as good as you think it is. Maybe it needs a total rewrite or maybe you need to start a new book. I think anyone who actually finishes a book deserves a pat on the back for that alone, but just because a book has been written doesn’t mean that it’s publishable.

If an agent does respond and asks to see the manuscript, they might well ask to see it exclusively. Sod that. Send it to anyone who is interested. You don’t want to wait three months for a refusal before sending it out again. If an agent really wants to represent you, he’s not going to care who else you approached.

Having said that publishers won’t look at unsolicited manuscripts, it is still worth writing to editors. Just bear in mind that it is a long shot. Again, sell yourself and flatter them and maybe, just maybe, they might ask to see what you’ve written. It only costs a stamp, right? But do bear in mind that your letter probably won’t get to the editor, it will almost certainly be intercepted by an eager assistant. And don’t try phoning them – that is a total waste of time. Again, it is worth working any contacts you have. But don’t ask me or any other writer if we’ll read your work – we just don’t have the time and also won’t put ourselves in the position where we could be accused of plagiarism down the line! I know it’s frustrating, but the thing to remember is that nothing worth having comes easily. If you do eventually get an agent, keep a close eye on how hard they are working for you. My experience is that they soon get lazy and take writers for granted. They find it easier to increase their income by taking on more writers than building the careers of the writers that they already represent.

"Gunning For Agents"

One of the great unfairnesses of life is that once an agent has done a deal for you, he or she takes his or her percentage for ever, no matter how much he or she signed the original deal for. The agent might only get a few thousand pounds of an advance for you, but if the book goes on to be a massive bestseller, he or she takes their cut of the royalties for ever. I fell out with an agent who I thought wasn’t pulling his weight yet years later he still takes his percentage of all the royalties on the books he sold for me. And will continue to do so until the day I die. I actually don’t think that’s fair, but there’s nothing I can do about it. So, if you do make it big, get a lawyer to represent you instead of an agent. When you are a consistent bestseller, earnings have more to do with royalties on books sold rather than advances paid by the publisher. A lawyer can handle the contract for you for a reasonable one-off fee rather than a percentage of your earnings. Much fairer.

It’s not just me who has had bad experiences with agents. I know a lot of writers, and not one has ever recommended that I approach their agent. Virtually every writer I meet tells me that they are unhappy with their agent and would move if they could find someone better.

I think the basic problem with agents stems from their role as middle-men in the process. They are acting for writers (their clients) but the actual money comes from publishers. A writer has only one agent, but an agent has dozens, often hundreds, of writers, and will be dealing with all the major publishers. At the end of the day, an agent is not going to jeopardise his relationship with a publisher for the sake of one writer. Publishers are far more important to agents than writers are, and the writer is always going to come off worst in any conflict unless you have the clout that comes with being one of the really big sellers. That’s a sad fact of life, and all writers should remember it. So my advice to all writers starting out is to do whatever it takes to get an agent, but to constantly review their performance and if they are not performing, cut them loose. And if you do make it big, don’t be afraid to cut the percentage you pay them, or to dispense with their services altogether. I haven’t had a book agent since 1999 and my career hasn’t suffered one bit because of that. And my advances have gone up substantially since I started representing myself.

You would think that over the years I’d have been approached by agents who had read my thoughts on their profession and wanted to prove me wrong. I’d be a great, client, right? Some twenty books in print, sales of more than two million copies, published in a dozen or so languages. You’d think that agents would be fighting to take me on. Well, it’s not happened. Not once. The silence has been deafening!

Why haven’t any agents been in touch to say ‘Hey, we’re not like the rest, we can do wonders for your career, let us prove it’? Couldn’t be because they’re all scum-sucking parasites, could it?

Self-publishing

If you are consistently rejected by every publisher and agent that you contact, it’s time to sit down and do some serious thinking. Is there something wrong with the book? With your writing? Is it something that can be fixed? Try to get impartial advice from friends, or join a writing group. If you are still convinced that you have a bestseller, then you might think about self-publishing.

Self-publishing is different from vanity publishing. There are companies around who will produce copies of your book just so that you can have the satisfaction of holding a copy in your hand or to give copies to your nearest and dearest. That’s fine for unpublished poets or for passing around your family history, but to self-publish you have to take a more professional approach. The Bridges of Maddison County started life as a self-published book, and Robert James Waller went on to sell more than six million copies when Warner Brothers picked up the title. Roddy Doyle self-published his first novel, The Commitments and he now has millions of copies in print. The Tales of Peter Rabbit was originally self-published by Beatrix Potter. I have several friends in South East Asia who make money self-publishing their work. Check out www.jakeneedham.com and www.cgmoore.com for examples of writers who self-publish at least some of their work.

As a self-publisher, you have to pay the costs of manufacturing your books. And you are responsible for distributing them. The big obstacle with self-publishing is that it is very hard to distribute your book. You can’t just go to WH Smith or Borders and expect them to take ten thousand copies off your hands. But you can often put them with small local bookstores on a sale-or-return basis, sell through Amazon or through your own website. You almost certainly won’t make a fortune, but you might get noticed by a real publisher. There’s plenty of advice on the Internet how to start self-publishing so make sure you know what you are getting into before taking the plunge. It’s not for the faint-hearted.

Useful reading

I'm not convinced that books that claim to teach you how to write a bestseller are worth reading. I've never read any and so I'm not in a position to make any recommendations. I always figure that if the authors were any good, they'd be writing bestsellers themselves, right? Hardly any do. One of the few exceptions is Stephen King who has written a book called 'On Writing'. It's okay, but is more of an autobiography than a 'How To' book. Most of his advice is common sense, things like 'write every day' and 'read a lot of books'. It's worth borrowing 'On Writing' from your local library, but it's not a book you need on your shelves. No, I reckon that the best way of learning the craft is to read those authors who are successful at what they do. Before I started writing thrillers, I read practically everything by Jack Higgins and Ian Fleming. Later I read practically everything written by Gerald Seymour, Brian Freemantle, and John Le Carre, three masters of the craft of thriller writing.

The same goes for most creative writing courses. They fall under the old saying - ‘Those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach.’ If Jack Higgins or John Grisham were to hold a writing seminar I’d be first in line, until then, I’d rather read the successful authors and learn from them.

But that’s just my personal view - there are well-known writers - Michael Ridpath for one - who say that ‘How To…’ books were a big help when they started to write. Local libraries should have a selection of books on creative writing, and you can do a search on Amazon.co.uk.

Two books that I can most definitely recommend are The Writers and Artists Yearbook and The Writer’s Handbook.

	WRITERS AND ARTISTS YEARBOOK Recommended by The Writers’ Guild, the Writers and Artists Yearbook is the definitive guide to the world of publishing. It’s got full lists of all UK and US publishing houses, lists of agents on both sides of the Atlantic, plus details of newspapers, radio and TV stations. It’s more than a book of lists though, it has feature articles, at least one of which is usually by a famous author who claims that the Writers and Artists Yearbook was a key element of their success. There’s also advice on self-publishing and vanity publishing, creative writing courses, advice on preparing and submitting manuscripts, and advice on copyright, libel and tax.
	THE WRITER'S HANDBOOK The Writer’s Handbook has got pretty much the same information as the Writers and Artists Yearbook, but The Writers Handbook seems to have the edge when it comes to its special feature articles. The book has the same extensive lists of contacts, including UK and overseas agents and publishers, TV production companies and a comprehensive list of writing courses and prizes.
	I was a journalist before becoming a thriller writer, as were Gerald Seymour and Frederick Forsythe. For anyone interested in knowing what it’s like to work on a national newspaper, Full Disclosure is a great read. FULL DISCLOSURE By Andrew Neil As a former journalist I love Andrew Neil’s account of what it was like working for Rupert Murdoch for more than a decade as editor of the Sunday Times. Whatever you think of Andrew’s editorship, he is a world class writer and it’s always surprised me that he’s never written fiction. I worked for three of the biggest newspaper barons during my twelve years as a journalist - Rupert Murdoch (The Times, The South China Morning Post); Robert Maxwell (The Daily Mirror) and Tiny Rowland (Glasgow Herald). I met them all and they all had the uncanny ability to make you feel as if you were the centre of the universe while you’re in their company. Of course they’ve forgotten about you two minutes later, but that’s by the way. I spoke to Tiny Rowland just before I left to join the South China Morning Post in Hong Kong, and he asked me to give him a call if I spotted any investment opportunities for his company, Lonrho. I think he was serious, too. Robert Maxwell interviewed me for half an hour before hiring me to join the City office of the Daily Mirror. He was fascinated by my background in biochemistry as he made his initial money by selling translations of German scientific papers after the war. I met him again in Hong Kong and he remembered my name and told me to call him when I got back to London as there was always a job for me on the Daily Mirror. It was a nice thing to say, especially as we were in the middle of a press conference with some twenty other journalists at the time. I only met Rupert Murdoch once, when he visited the South China Morning Post in Hong Kong, but my life has always been connected to his News Corporation empire in some way. His publishing company, Harper Collins, published my first three novels, I worked for his papers in London and Hong Kong, and Sky TV produced two of my books - The Stretch and The Bombmaker - as TV movies. Andrew Neil’s book is a great insight into what it’s like to work at the top level of British newspapers, and I’d recommend it to anyone who’s thinking of becoming a journalist. I love it because it’s peppered with names of people that I know: Paul Dacre, the editor of the Daily Mail who hired me as a business reporter when I left the Daily Mirror; John Dux who hired me to work on the South China Morning Post in Hong Kong; Roger Eglin, the business editor of the Sunday Times who nearly offered me a job several times but who never quite made it; Eddy Shah, the founder of Today newspaper who gave me a bollicking for being rude to one of his public relations people and who went on to write thrillers himself; Elisabeth Murdoch, Rupert’s daughter and the then head of Sky, who had lunch with Anita Dobson, Leslie Grantham and me to tell us how excited she was about filming The Stretch. Elisabeth left Sky soon after to set up her own film production company. List price: £5.99

Equipment

I wrote my first book, Pay Off, partly by hand and partly on a manual typewriter in the offices of the Daily Mirror, but to submit it to publishers, the manuscript had to be typed so that meant retyping the whole thing into an IBM ‘golfball’ typewriter. It had a memory equivalent to about eight pages, which meant I typed in eight pages, printed out six copies, then deleted the copy and typed in the next eight pages. It took weeks. Many writers still write by hand - Jeffery Archer for instance - and there’s no doubt that you tend to put more thought into what you’re writing. But most write on computers, which is how I do it now. It’s faster, easier to make changes, and easier to check things like spelling. Just don’t forget to make back-up copies of all your work!

The Fireman was the first book I wrote on computer, an old Toshiba portable that weighed about 5 kilos and which had to be plugged into the mains to work. I used a word processing program called Xyrite, which isn’t around any more. It was a simple DOS program that mimicked the screen of an Atex computer which is what I was using as a journalist on the South China Morning Post.

I stuck with Xyrite right through until The Bombmaker, then switched to Word, mainly because there was no new version of Xyrite available and the version I had was more than a decade old.

I write screenplays on Final Draft, which is a great program and which takes all the hard work out of formatting scripts.

I have used several Toshiba laptops, the latest being a Pentium II Satellite 4015CDT, but I had several problems with it and didn’t get much help from the company’s Customer Service department (at the time they had no e-mail address for enquiries, no phone number for instant help, and the machine had to be sent to Germany to be repaired.) After sending it to Germany three times, I relegated the machine to back-up status and bought a Pentium 1 Sony PCG-745. Great machine, and in the early days Sony’s Customer Service was excellent - you phoned a number and talked to a guy called Dave who was ace at solving problems. These days Sony’s computer division has got much bigger and it has a huge Customer Service section staffed by not very bright people. I’ve no idea what happened to Dave, but I miss him! I bought a Pentium 3 Sony PCG-F707. Also an excellent machine, but I had several disappointing e-mails from Customer Services (about connecting to the Internet via a mobile phone) and for that reason I’m loathe to recommend Sony any more. Each e-mail came from a different person, often unidentified, and each time I had to describe the problem from scratch. After twenty e-mails the matter was still unresolved. Frankly, these days hardware is pretty much the same no matter what brand you get. Best choose a retailer that offers decent Customer Service. In the UK I use Dixons. Can’t fault them.

I have three Brother printers, an HL-1250, an HL-1040 an HL-820 and all three have been relatively problem free. I used to have a Panasonic KX-P4420 which was slow but reliable and the size of a small tank. I did try a Lexmark printer but it was forever going wrong so I threw it out. I bought a Hewlett-Packard PSC 500 which is a combined printer, scanner and photocopier. Clever machine and well worth the money but the paper feeder has been slightly off centre from the day I bought it.