| TV
Work
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Actor
Danny Brown with two ‘ladyboys’ celebrating the end of filming my episodes of
The Knock in Thailand
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My first television
work came from my association with producer Paul Knight. Paul has produced a host
of top TV shows, including Black Beauty, Robin of Sherwood, London's Burning and
The Knock and is a living legend in the business. He bought the TV rights to my
first big book, The Chinaman, but despite pushing the project hard it didn't get
made. Paul offered me the chance to write three episodes of his Customs and Excise
series, The Knock, and I had great fun doing it, especially as he let me set part
of it in Thailand.
My episodes featured a great female villain played
by Cheri Lunghi (famous for her Kenco coffee ads) and her sidekick played by Murray
Head. It was great having Murray on board, especially as he played a drugs courier
bringing heroin back from Thailand. Murray is famous for singing "One Night In
Bangkok" which is played all the time in the city's go-go bars, and it was surreal
wandering around bars with him as the song was being played.
While I was
working on The Knock, I decided to write a drama about a housewife who has to
take over her husband's criminal empire when he is sent to prison for murder.
After I'd produced a first draft of The Stretch, Paul and I approached former
Eastenders star Anita Dobson to see if she'd be interested in playing the lead
character, Samantha Greene. She loved the story and immediately said she'd do
it. Paul and I then had the idea of using Leslie Grantham in the show, and I reworked
the story to give him a major role. |
When
Leslie read it, he was keen to do it, which was great news because it was the
first time Anita and he had worked together since leaving the popular soap.
The
Stretch was great fun, but it was a tough shoot as Anita was also appearing in
The Pyjama Game in the West End so everything was a rush. She and Leslie gave
great performances, though, and we spent a few days filming in Spain. Anita's
partner, Brian May of Queen, did the music.
Working in television can
be great fun, but it has its disadvantages, too. Writing books can be a lonely
process, but at least you have effective control of the plot, the characters,
and the dialogue. Any editing is done once the book is finished, and every book
editor I've ever had has been diligent, hard-working and supportive.
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Television is much more of a collective process, which is fine so long as you
are dealing with people who know what they're doing. The snag is, the British
television industry has become a haven for very untalented people who want to
work in a creative industry. They can be a nightmare to work with. They want to
have input into the creative process but generally don't have the talent. They
do however have the power and control over the money. In my experience, generally,
the smaller the company, the more fun they are to work with. The bigger the company
gets, the more dead wood it acquires.
Shortly after I wrote The Knock,
I went to see the people who produce The Bill, a long-running police drama. I'd
always enjoyed the show and wanted to write an episode. I had a good meeting with
a young script editor and promised to send her a few ideas. What followed was
just plain weird and not an experience I ever want to repeat. I gave her twenty
ideas, many of which she liked. But she then said she wanted to write an episode
based on an idea she'd had. I said it would make more sense to write an episode
of my own, and it was clear I'd offended her.
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| Leslie
Grantham and Anita Dobson starring in
The Stretch, shown on Sky One. |
Things went from
bad to worse. The Bill has a set formula for producing scripts - first the writer
produces a very short synopsis, just a few paragraphs, of what the story is about.
If the synopsis is approved at a script meeting attended by the show's script
editors and producers, the writer produces a detailed treatment. The treatment
then goes before the group, and only if it's approved does the writer get the
go ahead to write the full script. My script editor insisted on long rambling
telephone talks where she paced up and down wearing a headset, and practically
dictated the synopsis to me. It was approved. I then wrote a treatment, which
she insisted on me rewriting three or four times. It was approved. Then I wrote
the script. I thought it was just about okay, considering how much she insisted
on changing, but she then gave it to one of the show's police advisors who insisted
on more changes. Then she made even more changes of her own. What we ended up
with was a dog's breakfast of a script - which she loved.
It went to the
next script meeting, and everyone hated it. The script editor managed to duck
the flack, blamed me, and I was told never to darken their doorstep again. I often
see the girl's name on the end credits of episodes of The Bill, and I wonder if
she's still treating writers the way she treated me. My mistake was not asking
for a new script editor as soon as I realized that we weren't getting on.
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The
boys, and girl, of Blue
Watch in London’s Burning.
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The Bill wasn't
my only unpleasant experience! While The Stretch was in production, I wrote two
episodes of London's Burning for London Weekend Television, who have been producing
the long-running firemen drama since Paul Knight left the show
I wrote
two episodes, directed by the excellent Phillipa Langdale and edited by my good
mate Nigel Parkes, who also edited my episodes of The Knock and the TV version
of my book The Bombmaker. I've always loved the show, but writing for them was
on a par with my experience on The Bill - young script editors wanting to meddle,
every man and his dog wanting to stick their oar in. This time I stood my ground
and had many a pitched battle with the meddlers (one of them quit in tears), and
we ended up with a double episode that got rave reviews, but I doubt that I'll
be asked back to do more. | | |
Once we'd finishing filming
The Stretch, Sky were keen for Paul and I do something else for them. They read
my book The Bombmaker and asked if we'd do it as a two-parter. We jumped at the
chance. It was a relatively easy script to write because I was so familiar with
all the characters. The hardest part was cutting out all the sub-plots and reducing
the number of characters so that everything would fit into two 72-minute episodes.
Sky loved the scripts and rushed it into production. Dervla Kirwan (Ballykissangel)
was signed up to play Andrea Hayes, the retired IRA bombmaker whose past life
comes back to haunt her when her seven-year-old daughter is kidnapped. Her husband
is played by Mark Womack (Liverpool One) and Samantha Bond (various James Bond
films) plays Patsy, the MI5 agent who has to prevent a major terrorist incident.
Filming started in October 2000 and the show was shown several times throughout
2001.
While he was producing The Bombmaker, Paul was also developing a
series for BBC1 with another writer, Anthony Horovitz (Crime Traveller, Midsomer
Murders). The series, called Murder In Mind, features a different murder each
week, following the story from the murderer's point of view. The technique was
used in the old Columbo series, where the viewer gets to see the murder up front
and the mystery is how the murder gets his comeuppance. Murder In Mind doesn't
have a detective in a raincoat, each week different policemen get to investigate
the crime.
Paul asked me to write an episode and I wrote one called Flame,
about a fireman who hires a professional killer to kill his wife and her lover.
It starred Steve Macfadden, who plays Phil Mitchell in the long-running Eastenders
soap. The fireman finds the assassin on the Internet (played by the excellent
Keith Allen) but he's more than an assassin, he's a serial killer who isn't killing
for the money.
I then wrote a second episode for the first series about
a group of vigilantes who accidentally kill a suspected paedophile, only to discover
that he was an innocent bystander. To make matters more complicated, one of the
vigilantes is a policeman who gets called in to investigate the crime.
I went on to write two more
episodes for the second series of Murder In Mind, then an episode for
the third series. Then I ran into a story editor who didn’t like me and
my Murder In Mind career ground to a halt! Unfortunately that’s the way
it often is in TV-land: writers are pretty much regarded as the most
disposable part of the process. You just have to grin and bear it.
Like
most TV writers, I spend a lot of time pitching ideas to TV executives.
Many ideas get knocked back for the most banal of reasons - because the
networks are working on something vaguely similar, or because the commissioning
editor (who is probably only a few years out of university) doesn’t like
your face. Oh, and it definitely helps if you’re gay. And I’m not. If
they do show any interest in a pitch and ask to see the script, nine
times out of ten you never hear anything back.
The work just disappears
into a black hole. I gave one commissioning editor a six-page treatment
of a story-idea she had expressed interest in. After three-weeks I e-mailed
her to see if she’d read it. ‘It’s on my pile,’ she said. ‘I’ll be reading
it soon.’ I never heard from her again. In my experience, you only ever
chase bad news. If it’s good news, it comes looking for you. |
Me
on the set of The Bombmaker with a briefcase full of Semtex. |
Anyway, I have a drawer full of scripts, all of which I’ve invested huge
amounts of time and effort in, and none of which I’ve been paid a penny for.
Among the projects that I have locked away are scripts based on my books
Tango One and The Tunnel Rats, and a supernatural thriller series called
DevilZone. I think they are all brilliant, so if you know any producers looking
for projects, tell them to click on the buttons below!
I found it fairly easy to get
into television writing, but I had the advantage of being a published writer.
The more I've worked in
the industry, the more it's become clear to me that often it really
is a case of who
you know rather than the quality of your work. Books are different, I always
say that if your book is good, it'll be recognized as good eventually
and will be
published. With television, it's a question of getting the right person to
read your work and that can be hard to do unless you've got the right
contacts. Sending
original scripts on spec to the BBC or the ITV companies rarely works.
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One of the best examples is John Sullivan (Citizen Smith, Only Fools and Horses,
Dear John, Roger Roger) who spent ages trying to get anyone interested in his
work. He finally cracked it by getting a job shifting scenery for the BBC and
approaching executives in the BBC bar after work. |
You'd think having an agent
would make things easier, but I'm afraid that so far as working in television
is concerned, that's not necessarily so. I've a pretty low opinion of
agents in general, but television agents seem to be the worst of a bad
bunch. I've yet to meet one who I'd consider half-way intelligent, and
to a man they've been lazy and unimaginative. I don't know a single writer
who thinks he has a good agent, and I've never met a writer who's told
me that their agent has found them work. One agent who represented me
(yet never fixed up a single meeting or writing assignment) seemed to
be in Groucho's Club more often than he was in his office.
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Agents are so lazy that
unless you've got a proven track record they are unlikely to take
you on. They're generally not interested in breaking new talent, it's
far more profitable for them to increase their stable of already-producing
writers and take ten per cent from them. Take a look at the website
of a big agency such as Peters Fraser and Dunlop and see how many
writers each agent has. Dozens. Which means they have hardly any time
to devote to looking for work for their clients. |
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The
team behind The Stretch: James Baker of Sky, actress Anita Dobson,
the author, producer Paul Knight.
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I was at a point in my career
when I was between agents, and I went to see an agent at a relatively large
London firm to see if she'd be interested in representing me. I explained
that I had almost a dozen books in print but that I needed an agent who
could get me television work. You could see the look of horror on her face
- the idea of an agent actually drumming up work wasn't something she could
cope with and she didn't take me on!
I asked another agent to fix me up with meetings with producers of existing
shows, just so I could get a foot in the door to pitch story ideas. Over
six months he wasn't able to arrange a single meeting. Yet that same agent
took almost £30,000 from me over two years for work that I had fixed up
myself.
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I'm not saying you shouldn't try to get an agent - you should.
But don't hold your breath waiting for them to get you writing
assignments, because that's not what they do. They have lunch,
they go to their villas in Tuscany, and they sit with their heads
up their backsides (I know, that's physically impossible, but
you get my drift).
Agents aside, it's important to remember that things that come
easily are rarely worth having. There are steps you can take to
give yourself an edge over the rest of the thousands of writers
trying to break into television.
First, learn the craft. Unlike writing novels, television writing
has a set of very definite rules, in terms of presentation and
construction, and they have to be learned. Go on courses, read
books, join writing groups if you can. |
Dervla
Kirwan (centre) during the
filming of The Bombmaker
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Once you are producing work that you're happy with, try sending it to agents -
you can get names and addresses from The Writers and Artists Yearbook and The
Writer's Handbook. You might strike lucky, but don't be disheartened if they don't
reply. And if you do get an agent and they don't perform, don't be afraid of sacking
them. That goes for book agents, too.
Another way in is to approach independent
producers, the companies which produce television programmes for ITV, BBC and
the cable and satellite channels. Many are listed in The Writers and Artists Yearbook
and The Writer's Handbook and you'll see their names at the end of shows. The
best way to introduce yourself is to send a sample of your work and a covering
letter. With any luck they'll ask you in for a chat.
The thing to remember
is that as a rule independent producers don't have money to invest in projects.
They take projects to the various broadcasting companies and try to persuade them
to part with cash. They might be interested in your ideas and want to work with
you, but generally you have to do much of your work up front without any guarantee
of payment. I have half a dozen television projects in which I've invested many
hundreds of hours for no money and which will probably never see the light of
day. It might not be fair, but that's the way it is.
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"Script
editors can be a nightmare to work with"
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If
an independent producer likes you and wants to work with you, they'll
probably offer to help you develop an idea and work on a script
together. You'll get input and support and probably the occasional
lunch, but you almost certainly won't get any money until they manage
to get a development deal with a broadcaster. It's a question of
persevering and learning. And you don't have to work with just one
producer - you could have several projects in various stages of
development with different producers. The more the merrier.
Another way in to the business is to try to catch the eye of a producer
or script editor on an established show such as The Bill or London's
Burning. To do that, you'll have to write a 'spec' script for the
show to show that you've got what it takes. They almost certainly
won't buy it but if it's any good they'll invite you in for a chat.
Shows such as The Bill have dozens of writers and are always looking
for new talent. They have script editors who work closely with writers
developing plots and writing scripts, and they have a stack of information
on the show and its characters - 'the bible' that all writers have
to work from. Once you have a few episodes of a show like The Bill
under your belt, you'll find it easier to get broadcasters to listen
to your own ideas for your own show. |
Make
sure you really have watched any show that you offer to write for - you have to
know what's already been shown and who all the characters are. You have to say
you're a fan of the show, even if you aren't. One tip is to find an episode you
really like and look at the credits at the end - find out who the script editor
was and write to them personally, tell them what a great show it was and how much
you'd like to work with them. Flattery rarely fails. If nothing else they'll ask
you in for a chat so that you can flatter them even more!
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FINAL
DRAFT
Anyone serious about writing screenplays has to have a screenwriting program.
Using a standard word-processing program such as Word will mark you out
as an amateur. I’ve used most of the screenwriting programs, and in my
opinion Final Draft is the best. I’ve written scripts for The Knock, London’s
Burning and Murder In Mind with Final Draft and it has paid for itself
a thousand times over. The BBC uses it, as do most ITV companies and independents.
Final Draft makes your screenplay look professional, but it also takes
a lot of the work out of the writing. It remembers all your settings and
your characters, and it automatically puts scene settings, action, dialogue
and instructions in the right format. You can also assign voices to your
characters and have your computer read the script out to you. Using Final
Draft means that I can e-mail my scripts to the BBC production offices,
which is also a great time-saver.
Click here for more information:
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Click
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CHARACTER
PRO VERSION 4
Drama is all about character, and one of the hardest things about writing
is to create characters. I’ve written more than eighteen novels and probably
twenty hours of screenplays, and in the course of that have created literally
hundreds of different characters. One of the skills of being a writer is
to put yourself in the heads of your characters, and this product helps
you to do just that. It’s a good tool for a first-timer looking to create
characters, but it’s also a Godsend for writers like me who’ve created
hundreds of characters and are running out of ideas!
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Click
here for more information:
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DREAMASCRIPT
At just under £200, there’s no way of getting away from the fact
that this is an expensive product, but it does have a stack of features
that can help you write and sell your screenplay. It functions almost as
a co-writer, encouraging you, advising you, helping you develop plot and
characters. You can also submit your work for a free review by an experienced
script reader. Most writers work alone, and if you don’t have close friends
or family to offer encouragement and advice, then this is a great alternative.
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SYD
FIELD SCREENWRITING WORKSHOP DVD
Syd Field is a legendary name in the screenplay business. For more than
a quarter of century he has been teaching professional and amateur screenwriters
in the States, some of whom have gone on to be among the biggest names
in Hollywood. Not everyone can go to the States to attend one of his writing
courses, but you can benefit from the master’s experience on this DVD.
It’s an invaluable tool and a great introduction to anyone planning to
write for the screen.
Click here for more information:
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Useful
reading |
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WRITERS
AND ARTISTS YEARBOOK
Recommended by The Writers’ Guild, the Writers and Artists Yearbook
is the definitive guide to the world of publishing. It’s got full
lists of all UK and US publishing houses, lists of agents on both
sides of the Atlantic, plus details of newspapers, radio and TV
stations. It’s more than a book of lists though, it has feature
articles, at least one of which is usually by a famous author
who claims that the Writers and Artists Yearbook was a key element
of their success. There’s also advice on self-publishing and vanity
publishing, creative writing courses, advice on preparing and
submitting manuscripts, and advice on copyright, libel and tax. |
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THE
WRITER'S HANDBOOK
The Writer’s Handbook has got pretty much the same information
as the Writers and Artists Yearbook, but The Writers Handbook
seems to have the edge when it comes to its special feature articles.
The book has the same extensive lists of contacts, including UK
and overseas agents and publishers, TV production companies and
a comprehensive list of writing courses and prizes. |
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WRITING
FOR TELEVISION By Gerald Kelsey
Writing for TV is a craft, and it's a craft that has to be learned.
Gerald Kelsey is a former chairman of the Writers' Guild of Great
Britain and has written more than 400 scripts, so he knows what
he's talking about. His book is one of the excellent Writing Handbooks
series, and it's packed with advice on how to write for TV, and
how to present and sell your work. |
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THE
SCREENWRITER'S WORKBOOK By Syd Field
Syd Field is renowned as the master of the craft of screenwriting
and "The Sceenwriter's Handbook" is practically the bible of the
film business. He explains why screenplays are structured in the
way they are, and argues that understanding the structure is the
key to writing a successful script. |
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ALTERNATIVE
SCRIPTWRITING: WRITING BEYOND THE RULES By Ken Dancyger
At time
Dancyger's book reads like a text book, and it sells for a text
book price, so it might be worth seeing if your local library
has a copy. That said, it can be used as a reference book so it's
worth having it on your own shelf. The book doesn't have the chatty
style of Syd Field, if anything it has a more academic approach,
but whereas Field's book repeats the mantra of structure being
everything, Dancyger encourages writers to take risks with structure,
character and tone.
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CREATING
UNFORGETTABLE CHARACTERS By Linda Seger
A useful guide to writing well-developed and rounded characters,
which is key to producing a successful novel or screenplay. Seger
discusses back stories, supporting characters, how to avoid stereotypes
and gives tips on dialogue writing. |
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ADVENTURES
IN THE SCREEN TRADE By William Goldman.
The classic insider's tale of working in Hollywood by the writer
of "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid", "All the President's
Men" and "Marathon Man". Crammed full of anecdotes and tips, I've
yet to meet a screenwriter who hasn't read this book. |
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WHICH
LIE DID I TELL? Or, More Adventures In The Screen Trade
By William Goldman.
The sequel was seventeen years in the making, but it was worth
waiting for. The first half of the book is a chatty, anecdote-filled
account of how he wrote films such as The Princes Bride and
Year of the Comet. The second half is more of a treatise on
writing screenplays, invaluable to any wannabe screenwriter,
including a screenplay he wrote for the book which he then allows
fellow writers to criticise. |
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